Think About Me
by mochiinvasions
Summary: Because it's July 26th and he's alone. Songfic for a contest & NL's birthday.


**Title:** Think About Me  
**Author: **AkaYuki2106  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters/Pairings:** Netherlands/Canada  
**Summary:** Because it's July 26th and he's alone.  
**Soundtrack:** 'Think About Me' by Daniela Andrade  
**Warnings:** Angst and songfics  
**Info:** For both NL's birthday and the NethCan contest on dA. Pretty crappy but oh well.

* * *

Because it's late at night when he returns home and he's tired and the home is empty. Because he turns lights on and tosses his keys on the table and checks the post on the floor and sighs. Because he cracks open a beer and sits on the sofa and turns on the TV and the lights are low. Because his apartment is empty and the volume is low and the beer is cold and the apartment is empty. Because his home is devoid of his lover's smile and soft laughter and tender warmth. Because he misses him like they'll never see him again and there's a soft ache in his heart as he looks the calendar and the date stares back at him accusingly. Because it's the 26th of July and he is alone. He leans back and looks out at the city and the sky is dark and the city lights twinkle back at him. He closes his eyes and leans back against the leather of the sofa, beer cold in his hands, and allow his mind to drift back to his lover. His smile and his laughter and his soft lips and calloused hands and his gentle presence, ever welcome in his home and his heart. Because the lights are low and no-one's home.

There's an ocean between them and 3000 miles and he could call but no-one would be home. Because the time zones differ too much and his lover is still at work and he could pick up his phone but he could never say all the things he wants to say over the phone, could never convey his love and how much he misses him, like a physical pain in his side. Because why would he try for words when touches are so much better instead? Because he reaches for him instinctively, calling out for him when he returns home, because of the heart-stopping moment when he receives no reply before he remembers that his lover is halfway across the world. Because the ocean tides keep them either side.

But he thinks about him. His mind is constantly on him, watching him, imagining him, wondering if his eyes linger at the phone the way his own do, wondering if he questions if he should call before dismissing the thought with the thought of timezones. He wonders if his lover even remembers. Because it was a lovely birthday and he celebrated with friends and smiled the best he could but something was missing and he received not even a whisper, a passing mention from his lover. Because the day could never be quite as bright, his life could never be quite as good, his happiness could never be quite as full, without his lover by his side. Because it could never be quite the same without his smile.

But he thinks about him. The night fades into early morning and his eyes slide shut and behind his eyelids his lover is kissing him and smiling and holding his hand and whispering in his ear. Because he shouldn't have this weakness but he does and his lover is always able to access the most secret parts of him, the softest parts, the parts he hides for fear of seeming weak but can never hide in front of his lover. Because his lover fell in love with him for all he is, tough exterior and sweet interior, and maybe the world could never see them as a match but they fit perfectly in every way possible, hands slotted together and bodies curled tight against each other and hearts tied together in every way imaginable. Because they reached out and found each other and never let go, despite the distance between them. He jerks awake at the sound of a car passing by and he gets up to close the curtains and watches as the car pulls away and someone rushes inside the apartment complex. He drifts around, closing up, listens as in the distance the elevator starts up, wonders who could be receiving a guest this late. He drifts past the pile of post on the counter, notices an envelope he hasn't seen before, recognises the handwriting and opens it. A postcard from Ottawa and his lover's handwriting.

"_I'll send postcards to where ever you are  
& whisper them to the trees  
to remind you if you need me to find you  
Just think about me  
Just think about me._

Happy birthday, I love you."

He smiles sadly, puts the postcard down. Words could never be enough, words could never convey even half as much of his love, words could never be what he needs.

Footsteps down the hall and it's nearing two in the morning and there's a knocking at the door. Suspicious he checks and maybe he recognises the golden hair and the violet eyes and the sweet face on the other side and maybe he opens his door and then his arms are full of his lover and their lips are locked and his lover is whispering his apologies and his "I love you"s and smiling because all he needs is there in his doorway. And his lover's bag is dropped on the floor and the door is kicked closed and he is pulling him to the sofa and pushing him down and surrounding him and embracing him and maybe everything is perfect now, because the lights are dim and oceans separate them and it's not the same without him there but he is home now and everything is okay.

"_When the lights are low  
and there's no one home  
will you think about me_

_& when ocean tides_  
_keep us either side_  
_will you think about me_

_& I know things aren't what they're like_  
_when you're here next to me_  
_But if it's alright for a moments time_  
_Will you think about me_

_& oh, you're the light I see_  
_oh, so if I should leave_

_I'll send postcards to where ever you are_  
_& whisper them to the trees_  
_to remind you if you need me to find you_  
_Just think about me_  
_Just think about me"_

* * *

Happy birthday NL, sorry this was so short and angsty, I really can't write tonight.  
Thank you Daniela Andrade for writing the perfect NethCan song.  
Questions, comments, critiques et al - drop me a review.


End file.
